2 powerful ways of dealing with rejection

How you view things, is how you react to them.

When I was in high school, I got rejected a lot because according to some, my perception of things was different and when I talk, I always relate it to something, experience, or someone, and that challenges some, drift some away, and makes another feel inferior.

And so I had to think before I speak, sometimes I just smile and walk away, nod in agreement even to things that didn’t go with me just to respect the feelings of others.

This broke me down…

It made me dislike myself, I stop myself from expressing feelings, I harbored so much anger in me that made me lash out at every single thing because I felt that was the only way people who want to understand me.

This went on for a while and I was tired of people telling me what to do and what not to so I decided to respond to them with a negative response which became my lifestyle for a year or two… ANGER.

Until one day…

I woke up in the morning, very excited about gaining admission into college and I dressed up, went to school, my first day in the lecture hall, lots of students and I step into the lecture hall excited that I didn’t even notice the lecturer was inside already then I was called back, standing in front of thousands of strange students and asked to introduce myself to them?

I stood there and said, my name is Ann and they all laughed including the lecturer and he said to me… Young lady do you have a problem with speaking? and I said no maybe you have a problem understanding my style of speaking. I know I was rude but I was just tired of people projecting their feelings on my everything.

It took me years to realize how to deal with people’s rejection of me but I’m happy that through the experiences, I’m able to find positive ways on how to deal with them and I want to help someone out there overcome their rejections and they don’t have to go through some emotional imbalance and stop themselves from having fun.

I had rejections that changed my way of life for years, broke me, and made me a better person.

Rejections are always gonna happen in one’s life and how we view them, is how we react to them.

At first, I viewed mine negatively, and that had lots of negative impacts on me, I lost confidence in myself, and I became a shadow of myself.

Rejections don’t suck — What sucks is how you react to it.

Imagine, being rejected for something you know better just because of your way of speaking, dressing, where you come from, etc.

It cost me a lot to start seeing rejections has these two solutions:

1. Projection:

See rejection as a psychological projection.

When someone explores undesirable feelings or emotions on someone else rather than admitting or dealing with their feelings.

Everyone has things they are insecure about and to some, projecting their feelings on others makes them feel better.

It took me time to realize they were just projecting what they feel and not that I was the problem, maybe they needed me to be a little more patient with them to get used to who I was but to some, they can’t be the fact that someone was gonna be better.

I have seen rejection at every angle of my life and I’m gonna enumerate three (3) main reasons why rejection is not your fault:

• Some people just want to feel superior all the time.
• Some people just want to make you feel bad about yourself because that’s what they feel about themselves inside. Indirectly sending you a message that they need help with building up their self-esteem through rejection. I have seen people who attach their worth to things and if another has it, they reject the other person because they don’t want to feel less of themselves for not being updated.
• A rejection of someone is a projection of their insecurities on you. Never give in and hold your confidence just like the stories of successful people who got rejected on their way to success but never gave up. For example; Lisa Nichol was rejected by her English teacher, who told her not to speak in front of anyone. That didn’t stop her from speaking and inspiring people till today. They are so many stories of rejection out there, you are not alone…

You have to pick up your battles and fight them… whatever it is or you deal with the fact of it reoccurring and beating you down.

2. Protection

Protection from a future that is not good for you.

I know it sucks after getting rejected on something you have a passion for, a job your credentials qualify you for, and what makes it worst is the job being given to someone with low credit even in experience for the job. But have you stop to think of what positive results that rejection gives…

A lot of times we look so much at the closed doors and stop ourselves from seeing the new opportunities before us.

We have to master the skill of growing through what we go through by not taking everything personally.

I did my best and it didn’t work, it’s fine. I will try again using another strategy.

Adopt the power of letting go… there is something bigger than what you have lost out there. FIND IT.